A New York man is facing public lewdness charges after getting frisky with a stick of pepperoni at a grocery store. John Allison allegedly rubbed the pepperoni on his exposed genitals, then put the meat back on the shelf. He didn't realize that a security guard was monitoring a nearby surveillance camera and caught him in the act. The employee told cops that he was surprised when he saw what Allison was doing, saying, "I thought he was going to steal some merchandise. Instead, he undid what I thought might be his belt. I then saw him unzip his pants.” In addition to the public lewdness charges, Allison was charged with fourth-degree criminal mischief for damaging the pepperoni and making it unfit to sell.

The Doritos Locos Taco is probably the most successful new fast food item of the 21st century, as Taco Bell has sold half a billion of them in the past 14 months. But there might be trouble brewing, because a federal prison inmate is suing Taco Bell, claiming the idea was his. In a 35-page handwritten complaint, Gary Cole – who’s serving time at a supermax prison in Colorado – insists that he invented the Doritos Locos Taco and that Taco Bell stole the idea from him through the mail. He first wrote to the FBI demanding an investigation. He then sent a Freedom of Information Act request to Taco Bell demanding that they release all documents related to the invention of the Doritos Locos Tacos. After receiving no response, he filed the case in federal court – and will be representing himself.